Showing posts from 2007


Growing up, we are fed many ideals. Films, books, music and society have us believe that we will find a person who loves us deeply; settle down; have kids and live happily ever after. Of course, most of these illusions are dispelled at some point during our adulthood. We realise that relationships are often marred by unreachable expectations or insecurities or infidelity or any number of faults that affect us as human beings.

The Race

I am still here. I know I haven’t written here for months on end but I have been ridiculously busy (working, writing, healing a broken bone and moving home). I promise I will make more of an effort. I will also try to update the other parts of the site when I get a moment.


He had a hard life but he did the best that he could. He laughed seldom but when he did, it lit up the room. It was a sort of short burst of a laugh but a happy one. His eyes were rimmed with greyish circles. I often wondered if they came with old age. He sometimes wore these massive glasses that made me sad because they still couldn’t help him read. He carried an old 5146 because the keys on the newer phones were too small. He had a calculator with giant buttons which also made me sad when I looked at them. 

I'm Still Here

No, I haven’t been Killed In Action; I’ve been on hold with British Gas. No, seriously, I have been on hold with British Gas for over a month now. Ok, so not continuously but I have spent a good portion of that time tearing my hair out whilst listening to tinny version of Fur Elise and classical pieces that I don’t know the names of whilst waiting, praying, hoping, begging to speak to a British Gas member of staff. Of course, I still haven’t succeeded in this quest so I have fired off letters to various watchdogs and have vowed to publicise my maltreatment (too dramatic?) by their incompetent selves.


It’s official. I’m getting soppy in my old age. Usually I am able to walk past vagrants, vagabonds, Big Issue sellers, buskers, preachers and Eastern European women peddling their children, without batting an eyelid. Today, however, I walked past an old woman selling the Big Issue and was wracked with guilt for not buying a copy. She was dressed in a thin coat and a headscarf and was standing in the rain with this really wistful look on her face. 

I need a new man

So. Post-Schumacher Formula 1. It’s just not happening for me. I told myself that I love the sport and it’ll do just fine without Schumacher, and may even be more exciting since there’s more competition but I’m afraid it just isn't happening. Schumacher has been in the sport since I started to watch it roughly 15 years ago and though his departure last year left me cold, I still had high hopes for the sport – hopes that were unceremoniously dashed on Sunday. The race was alright but without a driver to champion, I couldn’t really get into it.

Let them eat cake

I get pissed off about a lot of things (as many of you know) but yesterday that went beyond the customary grumble and moan. Yesterday I found out that the BBC is axing BBC Jam; its online education service, pending a review. The closure of the £150 million learning project is due to complaints from commercial rivals that the BBC breached the launch conditions under which it was given consent by the government and the European Commission (i.e. that content would complement commercial material rather than replace it). 

My life and art

Almost a year after the release of Life, Love and Assimilation, I am still asked how much of the novel is based on my life. I always provide the same answer; it is fact-based fiction. When pressed, I tell people that 60% of it is based on my experiences whereas 40% of it is fiction. Even this fails to satisfy some readers. Some pick out specific scenes and question the amount of truth in them. Others want to know if my real-life relationships are as “warped” as they are in the book.  


Ok, I couldn’t help it. I tried to refrain, I really did but the second picture was too much to resist. Regular visitors will know what I think of Cameron and therefore understand how amusing I found these pictures.

World Book Day

I’m feeling kind of guilty since World Book Day should really be a bigger deal to me than it is this year. The truth is I don’t even read a lot any more. I have at least twenty books on my shelf that I haven’t read, which is pretty damn poor for someone who is always banging on about how the youth of today doesn’t read enough. It takes me far longer to finish a book than it used to. This is partly because I’ve been busy but also because I feel kinda guilty about reading when I could spend the time writing/rewriting my own book.


Yesterday I bought Ayaan Hirsi Ali’s Infidel which I plan to read once I get through The Caged Virgin that has sat on my shelf for a month or two now. One may question why I am taking the time out to read the works of a woman that is so passionately hated within the Muslim world. I would answer their question the same way I answer questions about why I bought The Satanic Verses. I would answer the question with a question; how can you criticise a book you haven’t read? 

Feeling better

My cold miraculously abated for the few hours that I spent at the Outlandish gig last night. Of course it’s back with a vengeance this morning partly due to the fact that I skipped dinner last night and barely managed four hours' sleep. 

Feeling sick

I’m feeling totally crap this morning. I’ve caught a cold and as some of you know, I don’t do things by half and that includes getting ill. I’m at the beginning stages so I’m still coherent but what’s pissing me off is the fact that I’m going to an Outlandish gig tonight and have been looking forward to it for weeks and now that it rolls around, I’m feeling like a nauseous hippo being forced to sit in a clean white room when all it wants to do is go to sleep in the mud. 

Great Expectations

Anytime I’ve been asked to give advice to youngsters, I tell them to follow two simple rules and they’ll be okay:

1. Stay in school
2. Don’t do drugs

Email exchange

Kia: And, forgot to say... asking a person with dyslexia to proofread by manuscript is just asking for trouble, isn't it? (Not terribly PC I know but there you go...)
Person-with-dyslexia: Did you mean "my manuscript" there? =P
Kia: Cheeky bugger
Person-with-dyslexia: You deserved it =)

I'm Back

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry for abandoning you all during the Christmas period. As you can imagine, I was really busy… watching Fifty Greatest Number Ones Ever and Fifty Greatest Rock Songs Ever and Fifty Greatest Videos Ever and so on and so forth. It’s the curse of Freeview; nothing good is on but you sit and watch it anyway. I’m pretty sure it made me shed more than a few brain cells.